It is neseserry to join us in order to sign in for a curse of endless adventure.
A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks. Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word. The grandmother is thinking to herself, “It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I’m glad she slapped him.�? The Project manager is sitting there thinking, “I didn’t know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn’t missed him when she slapped me!�? The young woman was sitting and thinking, “I’m glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!�? The young programmer sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, “Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Project manager all at the same time!�?
A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?�? The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, ‘You can have anything you want’.�? The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.�?
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.
A Cobol programmer made so much money doing Y2K remediation that he was able to have himself cryogenically frozen when he died. One day in the future, he was unexpectedly resurrected. When he asked why he was unfrozen, he was told: "It's the year 9999 - and you know Cobol"
Q: How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Yes.
A guy is standing on the corner of the street smoking one cigarette after another. A lady walking by notices him and says "Hey, don't you know that those things can kill you? I mean, didn't you see the giant warning on the box?!" "That's OK" says the guy, puffing casually "I'm a computer programmer" "So? What's that got to do with anything?" "We don't care about warnings. We only care about errors."